why doesn’t ellen give stuff away like oprah and call the segment ellen de generous like wtf
Sometimes when I say “I’m okay”, what I really want is for someone to hold my hand, look me in the eyes and say “I know that you’re not okay, here is $1000.00”.
“We’re so bad at sex and then we wonder why women aren’t like, really aggressive about sex. We think it’s cause they don’t have as much desire as we do. That’s how stupid men are, that we think ‘they’re just weird, women are like fucked up in the head cause they don’t wanna just fuck all the time. If I was a women, I’d just fuck everybody. Why don’t they wanna fuck all the time? I do’. Of course you do, cause when you fuck, you get to fuck a woman! When she fucks, she has to fuck a guy! Wildly different experiences. For a man, 100% of the time, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened in his entire life. For a woman, about 40% of the time, when she’s being fucked by a guy, she’s thinking ‘I’ll get over this in a week. It’s not the worst thing. I’m not gonna cry this time’
“Another thing that proves how bad men are at sex is that after sex, you’re looking at two very different people. The man just wants to lay there, be cool and the woman wants to cuddle…’Why is she so NEEDY?’ She’s not needy you idiot, she’s horny, because you did nothing for her. YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. HER PUSSY IS ON FIRE BECAUSE IT’S GONE UNFUCKED COMPLETELY. Of course you’re fine, you climbed on and went “KFHGSKG” and rolled off. And she’s on you because she’s like ‘WH-at SOMETHING ELSE HAS TO HAPPEN, THIS IS BULLSHIT!!” If you fuck a woman well, she will LEAVE YOU ALONE. ‘Thanks a lot buddy, zzzzz’”
Oh, Louis CK, advocate for the female orgasm. (via wantonmasochist)
Nothing has ever been more accurate.
Plus she’ll be in a much better mood the next day if you do your job right.
And for the record, I cuddle…or at least attempt to cuddle…even after my brains have been fucked completely out. It’s usually a brief roll and attempt to scoot close and then an utter collapse, after which I will mutter something about not being able to feel my toes. And if he’s REALLY done the job right, I’ll be giggling about my lousy chances of being able to walk in the morning.
Beauty or brains?
Fuck that, it’s not a dichotomy. Let’s not act like mascara glues girls eyes so shut that they can’t read a word of Dickens or solve a trig problem. Let’s talk about how no boy has ever been asked if he’d rather get his Bachelor’s or get married; no boy has ever been told that he’s too handsome to run for office. So why cover up my tits so you can take me seriously?
Beauty or brains? I’ll take ‘em all, thanks.
My (male) friend was recently raped and nearly everyone he knew either said it was his fault or he wasn’t actually raped. I can’t convince him that not all people think like this. Please reblog if you know that men can be raped just like women.
it is amazing that this only has like not even 500 notes, if it were a woman, all of tumblr would be shitting bricks right now. rape culture affects men too
or, OR it hadn’t circulated enough yet, you know, getting notes tends to be an exponential thing you don’t have to tear down one cause to support another smh
I think Cosmo did some justice on this one
I feel this to my core.
Lol at #3. Seriously my friends family is obsessed With Bebe and it’s all plain clothing that costs way too much and barely anyone can fit into it
weightlesslives:This might be the most accurate thing I’ve read everPosting on Tumblr is like talking to your cat. You don’t know if they are listening, and you don’t know if they care, but for some reason, it still helps.
And sometimes they attack you completely unprovoked.
If you look hard enough, you can see it. [via]
OMG NO I SCROLLED DOWN BC I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING AND THEN I SCROLLED BACK UP AND HAD A HEART ATTACK OMFG
IM LAUGHING SO HARD OMHYGOD I WASN OT EXPECTING THAT OMGOMG
don’t look at me like that
I’m so mad at how well this goes.
THIS IS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL MY ENTIRE NIGHT HAS JUST BEEN MADE