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salemkittie:

that’s… kinda true

salemkittie:

that’s… kinda true

angryblackman:

"How are your grades?"

"What are you majoring in?"

"Have you got a girlfriend?"

"What do you want to do when you graduate?"

image

i-once-had-a-guy-tell-me:

I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.

(submitted by anonymous)

rhyse:

she literally just blessed that girl’s soul i’m in awe

chaniall:

people shit on math and science because they’re not good at it y’all are like “being amazing at math and science doesn’t make you intelligent” nah man it literally does it’s just that if you aren’t amazing at math and science it doesn’t mean you’re unintelligent don’t shit on other people’s talents simply because they aren’t yours

lukehemmign:

whitebeltwriter:

dual-destininies:

derples:

dual-destininies:

tf2-fandomstuck:

tiniestshorts:

Bread knife

The french have grown more powerful. 

Hold it!

Look more closely at these photographs, Your Honor.

Notice anything strange about the bread?

I didn’t either. That’s because…

…no cuts were made there in the first place!

The witness forged the photographs to make it look like they had an actual bread knife, when they actually did not!

How, you ask? Look to the second photo.

While it is quite obvious that the knife is penetrating the top half of the breadstick, I’m not sure about the bottom half.

Looks pretty flat, doesn’t it?

The angle of the photo makes it look like the knife is in the witness’s breadstick, whilst it is actually behind it. In addition, the cut was actually made after the first photograph and before the second. Continue to the third photograph.

It is also taken from a flat angle, as was the second photograph. I’m sure you’re finding something missing in this photograph as well, Your Honor. Where is the index finger’s fingertip?

This illustration explains it all.

While I am… ahem, not the best artist…

(Didn’t I go to art school?)

The index finger is hidden behind the loaf of bread. It is not wrapping around the loaf of bread. This is because…

The witness was making space to put the knife’s handle!

Objection

Are you really that dull, Wright? For a man who majored in art you should be able to recognize a sculpture when you see one.

as we can see from the photos provided, this is quite obviously plastic.

if you look at any photo of real bread it can’t attain that level of shininess, and even if it could.

If you’ll notice in this picture, the bread on the inside is quite shiny, as well.

Tell me, Wright, have you ever seen real bread gleam that much? Don’t answer that, I will.

Even in this high-resolution photograph with bread that thick, it obviously wouldn’t shine on the inside when it isn’t buttered.

And it isn’t too hard to find the item in question with a quick google search.

Oh, and if you will notice, their hand was covering the seam where the bread was taken apart in the first photo with a simple comparison of the pattern on the bread.

It appears your lawyering skills are in much need of some sharpening if you expect to cut me down with that weak objection.

Edgeworth, you’re asking yourself the wrong question. It’s not “is there bread like that…”

You should be asking “can there be bread like that?”

Sweet bread can be infused with sugar or a syrup, making the outsides shinier- and the insides sweeter. Take a look.

Furthermore. there are parts of the witness’s bread knife that don’t just match up with the novelty bread knives you have presented. Take another look.

Let me point out two things about the novelty knives: one, their markings, and two, the placement of the knife itself.

In the novelty knives, the marks are artificial-looking and repeated. That is because they are manufactured. In the witness’s photo, the marks are more natural and realistic- because they are, well, real!

Furthermore, the blades on the novelty knives are in the middle of the handle.

But… look back at the witness’s photo. The knife is to the left? Where is the problem, you ask? Look at this illustration.

Here we have the knife, a piece of bread, and a table. Let’s have a go.

I’m sure you see it now, Your Honor.

The bread knife cannot actually be used to cut bread efficiently! Even if it was tilted, it would be uncomfortable and unbalanced!

The defense has an explanation for this positioning.

The blade is to the left because the witness was holding it behind the piece of bread!

what the actual fuck tumblr

outrageouswizardofnottingham:

Its horrible that we live in a world where this is happening

90% of the “GANG INITIATION!!!” stories i have heard in my lifetime are completely made up. so let’s check snopes.

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/madmen/backseat.asp

oh look, it’s fake.

nychnymph:

don’t romanticize basic rights 
it’s not attractive that a man is a feminist 
it’s not sexy that a man finally realizes the prejudice against women and how very oppressed women are 
it’s common sense

michygeary:

I WANT EVERYONE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS REALEST SHIT

michygeary:

I WANT EVERYONE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS REALEST SHIT

foxnewsoficial:

Person: I’m a woman and I don’t need feminism
What she’s actually saying:
My life is perfectly okay and I don’t really care what other women go through
I think feminists are just whiny and can’t take jokes that perpetuate harmful stereotypes
I believe that people are just obsessed with political correctness
I am blind to the fact that there are still problems faced by women
I have forgotten that feminism gave women rights such as the right to vote
I have no idea that feminism is an egalitarian movement that fights for everyone’s rights regardless of sex, gender, sexuality, race, religion, nationality, and ethnicity but mostly focuses on women’s rights.
I am more concerned about semantics rather than human rights
I can’t distinguish between real feminists and shitty people who call themselves feminists
I still believe in the false notion that feminism is about hating men
I actually don’t understand what feminism is

foxnewsoficial:

Person: I’m a woman and I don’t need feminism

What she’s actually saying:

  • My life is perfectly okay and I don’t really care what other women go through
  • I think feminists are just whiny and can’t take jokes that perpetuate harmful stereotypes
  • I believe that people are just obsessed with political correctness
  • I am blind to the fact that there are still problems faced by women
  • I have forgotten that feminism gave women rights such as the right to vote
  • I have no idea that feminism is an egalitarian movement that fights for everyone’s rights regardless of sex, gender, sexuality, race, religion, nationality, and ethnicity but mostly focuses on women’s rights.
  • I am more concerned about semantics rather than human rights
  • I can’t distinguish between real feminists and shitty people who call themselves feminists
  • I still believe in the false notion that feminism is about hating men
  • I actually don’t understand what feminism is
literallysame:

nohighs:

YOU REALLY THINK A FUCKIN PANCAKE IS GONNA FIX THIS HEATHER

I’ve reblogged this with like 3 different added captions and they all get me every time

literallysame:

nohighs:

YOU REALLY THINK A FUCKIN PANCAKE IS GONNA FIX THIS HEATHER

I’ve reblogged this with like 3 different added captions and they all get me every time

queenfattyoftherollpalace:

If children of color have to be aware of the realities of racism, white children should too.

I’m tired of hearing that white children are too young to understand the consequence of their words or actions when for nonwhite kids they live with the impact of racism every day 

damnnlyssa:

before and after injecting 1 meth

damnnlyssa:

before and after injecting 1 meth

sunflower-mama:

lesmemoirs:

blametherapistneverthevictim:

 

i’ve found my favourite 

WELL SHIT

sunflower-mama:

lesmemoirs:

blametherapistneverthevictim:

 

i’ve found my favourite 

WELL SHIT

taliabobalia:

dwarferinthetardis:

lillith-thesubmissive:

imaginebaggins:

Russell Brand Messiah Complex

Wisdom.

This man is far more intelligent than many people give him credit for.

comedians generally are.